Thursday, April 17, 2008

It's a Mystery

New to this town
New to this life
Walking downtown and I'm lost and not found

My beautiful wife
She’s smiling at me
She ask where do we go, I don’t really no

It’s a mystery, our past is history
Don’t ya shed a tear
Stay close me and have no fear
Just ride with the wind
Close your eyes no need to spin

So what now hun
The chooses have begun
Do we need to ask? Do we need to pray?

Hit a dead end
Finally found a friend
Sir what’s your name? Do you have any fame?

Slow down and take a breath
Hold steady, put your mind at rest
The worries of this world will be here tomorrow
It’s a mystery – its hard to swallow….

Monday, April 14, 2008

Casserole Conversations part 2 - Passions

Well, I told you all that there are many things going on in my head lately. This little blog is my dumping ground. I will lay out my ingredients and you can put this casserole in the oven. Sorry, if that doesn't make since to some of you but you will have to read the blog before to kind of understand.
OK, here we go. Most of you may know that I play tons of instruments and I play in church a lot. I love music and everything about it. Love is such a strong word and I really mean it when I say, I love music. It is apart of me. It is the way I express myself to God, to myself, to my wife, and to others. Lately, I have been frustrated with myself because I haven't put much time in my music and abilities. God gave me these gifts and I think I take them for granted. I say music is my passion but is it really. Am I being selfish?
I've always dreamed of writing inspiring lyrics and writing life changing songs but every time I try, I feel like I force it. I tell myself that I need to write out of the overflow of my heart. In some cases I do write out of the overflow but there are a lot times that I don't. It doesn't help that I have a couple friends that are amazing songwriters, no pressure. I can admit that I am a little jealous.
Apart of me wants to drop everything and just play music for a living. I don't want to become famous, just heard. Through my musical "career" (if you call it that) I have been the guy playing in the band and singing back-up for songwriters. I am fine with that and enjoy it. Lately, I have had the yearning to work on my own originals from the past and the present. I don't know if that's what I need to do. I said earlier that my passion is music. Well, really my passions are (or should be) God then music but I think sometimes those two passions get flipped out of order. I know my calling is being a lead worshiper but I see myself wanting to be worshiped sometimes. I thank God that I realize that now. I don't want to ever go through this life thinking I need to be worshiped. I believe we are wired to worship something and this

Sorry, if none of this makes since. I hope this blog will relate to some of you in some way.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Casserole Conversations

There are so many topics I could blog about, so I am going to talk about a casserole of events happening in my life. Before I begin, I want to unpack this delicious word, casserole. I use this word "casserole" because there are many events or ingredients going on that make up (or bake up)one yummy chunk of my life . Many of you can relate that life does not get simpler when you graduate college. While in college you long for graduation and a time of "freedom." Well, I guess you are kind of free to a certain point but then your career kicks in and then family and then kids and then bills and then health and then... Well, the list goes on.
Anyway, there are many life lessons, which I call the "yuck", that are apart of my casserole. Sometimes you need that "yuck" to allow your casserole to taste right. Its kind of like mixing in the cream of mushroom soup. I love mushrooms but no one eats cream of mushroom soup by itself. It taste like cream of mushroom poop. OK, enough of the food talk. I will go on with one event that has happen last week.
Recently, my wife and I have been searching for a new home. We met with a realtor and we found a brand new home in our price range. We were both stoked and we filled out all the papers on the house. The house was perfect. It had wood floors, fireplace, nice yard, good location, brand new, and it had a garbage disposal (that is special to us because we haven't had one in 2 years.) Long story short, the house fell through because of finances. The mortgage company said we had it at first and then next couple days they say we don't. I learned a lot about mortgage stuff but I learned not to put all my eggs in one basket. So, currently my wife and I will be homeless June 27th. Yeah, we can rent for 3 months but we are trying not to because moving stinks.
Sorry, this might be boring for most of you at this point. The point is that I don't know if I am ready for all this adult stuff. They don't teach you about doing your taxes or taking out a mortgage in college. I thank God now for not getting the house because I believe there is a better place for both of us. That is just one event that is part of my casserole now. I have many others but this blog is to long. Stay tuned for more Casserole Conversations.