Well, I told you all that there are many things going on in my head lately. This little blog is my dumping ground. I will lay out my ingredients and you can put this casserole in the oven. Sorry, if that doesn't make since to some of you but you will have to read the blog before to kind of understand.
OK, here we go. Most of you may know that I play tons of instruments and I play in church a lot. I love music and everything about it. Love is such a strong word and I really mean it when I say, I love music. It is apart of me. It is the way I express myself to God, to myself, to my wife, and to others. Lately, I have been frustrated with myself because I haven't put much time in my music and abilities. God gave me these gifts and I think I take them for granted. I say music is my passion but is it really. Am I being selfish?
I've always dreamed of writing inspiring lyrics and writing life changing songs but every time I try, I feel like I force it. I tell myself that I need to write out of the overflow of my heart. In some cases I do write out of the overflow but there are a lot times that I don't. It doesn't help that I have a couple friends that are amazing songwriters, no pressure. I can admit that I am a little jealous.
Apart of me wants to drop everything and just play music for a living. I don't want to become famous, just heard. Through my musical "career" (if you call it that) I have been the guy playing in the band and singing back-up for songwriters. I am fine with that and enjoy it. Lately, I have had the yearning to work on my own originals from the past and the present. I don't know if that's what I need to do. I said earlier that my passion is music. Well, really my passions are (or should be) God then music but I think sometimes those two passions get flipped out of order. I know my calling is being a lead worshiper but I see myself wanting to be worshiped sometimes. I thank God that I realize that now. I don't want to ever go through this life thinking I need to be worshiped. I believe we are wired to worship something and this
Sorry, if none of this makes since. I hope this blog will relate to some of you in some way.
Monday, April 14, 2008
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3 comments:
"I know my calling is being a lead worshiper but I see myself wanting to be worshiped sometimes. I thank God that I realize that now."
That is a really good thought. Its a trap that I regularly fall in and out of. I think God understands and more than anything wants us to be aware of it; to "realize" it; to feel the weight of our sinful pride but not to get bogged down by it. Rather to allow the weight that comes from that realization to add to the glory of God's grace.
As far as song writing...have you ever spent time alone singing your prayers? You should try it. You can go in and out other worship songs that are relevant to where you are at...and then allow your self space to sing how you feel, or what you feel about God. Don't worry about writing anything down or trying to form rhymes or lyrics. Just sing and pray. You may run across something that sticks, a hook or melody. Work from there.
I don't know. Sometimes it is completely fruitless...sometimes it isn't. But either way, I think it can be a really healthy way of writing worship-y songs.
There's my two cents...
Hey brother. I struggle with this at times too. It's difficult. But now that we realize it, I think it's really going to be easier to deal with and conquer. This is funny because at lunch today I went home and threw my old songs away and suddenly had ideas for songs about Christ opposed to 'female romancing.' And then, I come on here 3 hours later and read this blog.... amazing. We may not really speak often and when we do it may not be much, but I love you brother, with all of my heart.
thanks for the advise. I do appreciate it. Thanks MCody.
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